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’ ‘I’m hungry.’ Jared sighed and got up, glancing at the clock he saw that it was a little after 7 am, ‘Well let’s go see if we can fix something to eat. What do you want?’ ‘Chocolate cake.’ ‘Yeah I don’t think that your mom would like that very much, how about cereal?’ ‘No, eggs and bakey.’ ‘What is ‘bakey’?’ ‘You know loooong lines and when you cook ’em they kinda curl.’ ‘Oh, bacon?’ ‘Yes bakey. And make my plate into a smiley face.’ So Jared sat about making up some breakfast as the little girl, that he was pretty sure was Chloe, talked nonstop. She talked about everything from her, her mom, the babysitter and her boyfriend to the guy that runs the grocery store they go to who makes homemade taffy. She asked why there were clouds in the sky, why he was so tall, why did he have hair on his chest and no matter what he answered she would tell him, ‘Nope, because that is the way that God made ’em.’ Jared dished up Chloe a plate of food and set some back for Olivia. He had dished. . "Nine inches," he rejoined smugly. "A quarter of an inch over average... And, to tell you the truth, my wife was even more excited about it than I was.We gave him a standing ovation. I guess that'll tell you how bombed we all were.Then, as Dr. Feather sat down, the room was abuzz with the men around the table comparing their prick sizes. You could tell from which men were beaming, and which ones were frowning, who was above the average and who fell below.Then, Jason, who was undoubtedly above normal on the drunkenness scale, took the floor and proposed a most bizarre suggestion."Why don't we conduct our own survey among staff?" he hollered. "Let's find out if the scientists are as well-endowed as the subjects."There was a buzzing throughout the room as the men confronted their nerve. The women present, of course, just ginned.Needless to say, it was only a matter of time until some PhD with a schlong the size of a Hebrew National salami dropped his pants.As it turned out, it was my.
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